Original Air Date: January 12, 1953
This is my final put up of 2016, and that felt actually good to sort. I had considered doing one final put up on Friday 12/30, to finish with a bang. (The subsequent episode is “Lucy Goes to the Hospital” – one of many first televised storylines of its sort, and Desi’s favourite episode. It’s going to be nice.)
But you already know what? You can wait until 2017 for it, as a result of this 12 months has sucked whole butt and doesn’t deserve it. It hasn’t earned a single good factor.
Let the electoral school vote, and in the event that they determine to convey this 12 months one thing price celebrating, I’ll put up it. Otherwise, Prince is simply as useless, Trump is simply as elected, and I’m simply as fucking accomplished.
We open on Lucy a photograph album of her and Ricky’s child photographs. They use their actual photographs:
It feels bizarre posting these with out the choice of you liking or favoriting them.
Ricky is available in involved she’s up so late, however Lucy has been interested by what their child would seem like.
Fortunately the web has solved this downside for us:
Lucy + Ricky, or Licky, is a depressed Irish lady (however I repeat myself)
Lucy additionally discovered a photograph of her great-grandfather, who was an artist. Lucy’s excited to convey the cultural paradise that was 1953 to her new youngster:
Lucy: He desires to be a musician, you’ll be able to educate him. He desires to be an artist… hey, who’re we going to get to show him about artwork?
That’s the primary time a mother or father ever apprehensive about their child not changing into an artist, and a technology of flower-power peacenik hippie commie scum later, it’s clear why dad and mom don’t say such issues anymore.
Lucy: Our youngster’s creative and cultural future is at stake.
Lucy, give it sixty years and your little artist will likely be outsourced to Kardashian selfies. The youngster’s creative and cultural future is already useless.
Lucy decides to turn out to be an artist. Not positive that’s any of Ricky’s enterprise, however he appears to suppose so:
Ricky: Well, I assume it gained’t harm when you dabble in some watercolors for some time, however don’t get too concerned. You haven’t bought a lot time earlier than the infant will get right here.
In truth, she has 3 weeks. Three weeks to turn out to be an important artist. Or you’ll be able to simply take up images. Judging from my Facebook feed, that’s a factor individuals suppose they’ve mastered in 3 weeks.
She goes to an artwork provide retailer and the salesperson tells her she has the arms of a sculptor. He is an apparent con man who preys on younger aspiring artists with a view to make the most of them to profit himself. So he’s additionally the brand new head of the National Endowment for the Arts. (2016, did I point out you’ll be able to be at liberty to off your self early?)
Lucy falls for the flattery. Completely. She sculpts one thing, and he calls in his boss Mr. Abbott, a well-known artwork connoisseur, who’s obsessive about it, too.
It seems to be like an enormous lump of poo, which lately I might buy myself and title, “Current Global Situation.”
Mr. Abbott: The world is asking!
Lucy: Me? Oh, nicely I’d higher reply.
They persuade her to purchase 50 kilos of clay, inform her they’ll personally deal with her first exhibit, and he or she provides them a clean verify as a result of – once more – silly.
Then she leaves they usually throw out the clay.
It’s virtually just like the clay is a metaphor for marketing campaign guarantees however I can’t dig additional as a result of I’m too depressed/drunk.
Ricky comes residence to seek out Lucy laborious at work in a brand new smock. She may be very happy with her creation, and truly it’s not the worst. THIS is the worst:
Ricky can’t inform what it’s, so then Ethel is available in and Lucy tells her to set Ricky straight:
Lucy: Now inform Ricky what that is. Go forward, it’s as plain because the nostril in your face.
Ethel: Oh yeah! …Is it the nostril on any individual’s face?
Lucy complains the issue is she doesn’t have a mannequin. But she might simply swallow all her repression, ennui, and underutilized expertise. That’s what the remainder of us do.
She wants somebody she will be able to manipulate into modeling for her. Someone with an ego downside who’s extraordinarily straightforward to flatter… however who might that be…?
He will get caught in that place and decides to go bowling. He additionally will get reside viewers applause, so his fragile male ego is like WORTH IT!
After Fred bails, Lucy decides she wants a skilled mannequin, however Ricky explains they don’t actually have the cash. He’s going to have bother as it’s masking all the infant prices. That is extremely cheap, IMHO. Well accomplished, Ricky, for explaining the state of affairs with out being a jackass. Lucy, nonetheless:
Lucy: YOU DON’T LOVE ME OR THE BABY!!! (sobs)
Ricky: Oh, now, honey you already know I do.
Lucy: NO YOU DON’T!
LUCY GET YOUR HEAD IN THE GAME – 3 weeks from now there’ll solely be room for one child in that home.
He says if he believed she had expertise, he would spend money on it. He presents to convey up an important artwork critic to have a look at her work, and if that critic likes it, she will be able to have no matter she desires.
So she decides to go all in:
Lucy: I’m going to make a bust of myself.
Ethel: I assumed you’d already accomplished that (hehe)
Lucy: (LOOK OF DEATH)
Poor Ethel simply tried to make a joke. I Love Lucy is actually about how laborious it’s to keep up feminine friendships when one aspect is a manic-depressive narcissist.
Ricky brings residence the lead artwork critic for the Times. OMG, this man simply wanders round city housewives’ arts and crafts tasks? No marvel journalism is dying.
But Lucy fakes them out by placing her head by means of a desk and pretending to be a bust of herself.
The critic tells Ricky he’s married to a genius. And he’s so excited to be there for the launch of a profession, he desires to purchase it.
Umm…
Ricky gained’t promote Lucy’s bust with out her there, however then the critic presents $500, and Ricky decides “Consent? Whatever that’s, it sounds overrated!”
Ethel tries to smash the sculpture by transferring its (Lucy’s) face round. But lastly the critic pays and picks up Lucy’s head to take it.
Surprise! Shock! Embarrassment! Lucy!
It dawned on me on the finish of this episode, Lucy spent virtually each scene in both an enormous smock or underneath a desk. This total episode was designed so we didn’t see how pregnant she was.
I don’t know whether or not to be unhappy that pregnant ladies have been thought of so unseemly and controversial on the time, or impressed with how nicely the writers handled that limitation.
Making due with an extremely unjust, upsetting, misogynist state of affairs brought on by forces a lot better than your self? You know, perhaps this was really the PERFECT episode to finish 2016…
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